Friday, September 26, 2008

This week was just a bad week. One of those that just seems like the same old stuff, different day. After day. After day. It seems like by 10:00 a.m. we (meaning me and the boys) had already decided we were just bugging each other and then it went downhill from there. And it's pretty much all my fault for being so crabby and then feeling sorry for myself that I don't have any family around to help out sometimes. I have a lot of redeeming to do after being such a lame mom this week. Sometimes it's just hard! But then today, when CJ's school headmaster got him out of the car on "Western Day," he turned around and said to me, "See ya later pardner!" And my heart melted.

As I watched him walk in with his cowboy gear (including the chaps he insisted he needed so we hastily cut up a pair of old jeans and 'wrangled' them on with a belt), AND his new sneakers (he still wanted to run fast at recess) - I just sort of choked up and took a moment to capture that sweet little image in my mind. He's getting so big, so fast - but at the same time, moments like this remind me how little he still is. And I need to be way more patient with this oldest little man of mine.

I love my boys more than anything in the world and it's moments like today that I realize it won't be long before they won't want to hold my hand, sit on my lap, snuggle in the big chair and beg me to play with them. So here's to a new week and a better mommy. I am determined to do a better job and avoid damaging their little spirits by not fully investing myself in them.

7 comments:

~j. said...

I think the solution is to hire a maid and let her do all the work while the boys and I just play cowboys all day.

Amen. We've all had those times when we realize we maybe should choose something else (good, better, best), like playing instead of dusting, or whatever. It's good for moms to have those realizations, for their own sake and for the kids'. Here's to a better week for you!!

Ovary Acting said...

Chin up, Jamie. You are a great mom. Don't beat yourself up. It's the hardest job there is--as well as the most important job there is--and we all go through these kinds of weeks. Maybe you should ask for a raise for the great job you are doing? Hee.

: STEVE : said...

whut, whut!

AzĂșcar said...

Phew, I totally feel this way. I mean, whut whut.

K19 said...

Whut. whut! It rocks to have a maid- but James only allows it once a week, so who do we hire the other 4 days?!?! I am very jealous of your costume skills, and I agree that you are an AWESOME mom, all that canning, cake & cookie baking,photography, crafting, decorating.....the list goes on and on...but i understand your frustration.....just to get down on hands and knees(literally!) is all it takes sometimes.......Amen and whut, whut!

The Garcia's said...

I feel your pain, I had a long depressing week myself! I've been feeling lonely and missing all of my great family and friends in Utah. Lifes just not the same without them. Your supposed to be able to load up the kids when you've had enough and head to your parents for relief (and so they get attention)!I think you're an amazing mom, making cute costumes, canning, and baking, and letting CJ help! You've inspired me to be a better mom this week!

Sydney said...

Thank goodness for girls' trips to Vegas. You deserved all the money you spent on yourself and I'm pretty sure kids have a small radar that makes them say something cute just at the peak time.

We all have weeks. I'm really impressed you made it until 10am:) yeah for caffeine and high fructose corn syrup!

Hang in there and hopefully this next week is better.