Just another day...
So I've finally realized that I'm no longer a working mom (well, technically a full-time working mom, just 20 hours/month from home). And it's wierd. CJ and I find ourselves staring at each other several times during the day like, okay, now what?
Don't get me wrong... since he was born I've had a very stressfull job that kept me on call 24 hours a day. It was a lot of responsibility and I don't miss that at all. But being at home full-time in a new place has been a much bigger adjustment than I thought it would be.
It's weird to wake up each day to completely new responsibilities. How many times can I wipe down my appliances with those little stainless steel wipes? Or dust the new furniture? Or organize pantry goods on those lazy susan thingies I keep buying at Bed Bath and Beyond?
This kind of stuff used to only happen once a week for me as my job would allow for one day of serious house cleaning. Now it's kind of an annoying obsession because I feel like I have to be doing, doing, doing.
We moved in less than two weeks ago. I've unpacked EVERYTHING and everything is as organized as it could possibly be. Except the space under the stairs. That's on tap for tomorrow. I'm actually planning out cleaning tasks.
Idaho homes don't have basements. So we purchased a home with a 3-car garage so we could use that third car space to store all that basement stuff. We've never had a basement so that took me all of one hour yesterday to organize. But boy does it look, um, organized!
So today, I decided not to do anything with the house. No cleaning, organizing, nothing. CJ and I played trucks and legos for hours while I watched a marathon of Project Runway. Then we took Lucy for a walk and met three new dogs: Bumbee, Phoebe and Dusty. Then we took a two hour nap in my bed. Then we went to the playground. Then we picked leaves up in the backyard. Then made dinner to another episode of Project Runway. Then more trucks and legos, and finally two huge bowls of ice cream while we talked to Nana and Papa on the phone. What a day, I tell you.
CJ was an angel today. He loved having my undivided attention. We didn't have any fights. Or tantrums. I realized he's not used to this from me as he was always competing with my work, phone calls, or he was in the car on the way to the babysitter or other errands I wasn't able to do while working during the week, etc.
So, although it's an adjustment, I know that I have 2-1/2 years I need to make up for with my little man, and it's only a few short months until the baby comes. Until then, I'm not going to worry so much about being on a schedule, and I'm going to STOP FEELING GUILTY that I'm a stay at home mom now. I'm going to enjoy this tremendous blessing and quit worrying if every minute of every day isn't planned out and spent accomplishing something.
On second thought, I accomplished a lot more today than I have in several years. And the result was one happy little boy and a dog who won't keep giving me licks on my feet. That means she loves me, too.